


Three Tries, Once Successful

by writingdetritus



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 05:43:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdetritus/pseuds/writingdetritus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has some issues while growing up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Tries, Once Successful

Dean had tried killing himself three times as a kid.

Everyone expected Sammy to be the one depressed and suicidal since he voiced his unhappiness quite often. Dean was the good son, the one that would carry on the legacy. But when he was ten, and Sammy was around 5, their dad had gone out.

Sammy was asleep in bed, and Dean was looking at one of the last photos of their mom. He hated everything in this dumb world, he hated that there were monsters under his bed, and he hated that his dad was doing this to them. He felt bad for Sammy. Sam would never have a normal childhood, and Dean knew Sam's favorite shows on the television were of just that. Normal people.

Dean had gone into the bathroom, filled up the bathtub, slipped in and had dropped the hairdryer into the water.

He woke up in the hospital three days later.

Miracles happen, all the doctors and nurses said. Apparently Sammy had heard the noise and had unplugged the hairdryer and then called 911. Dean said it was an accident; that it had just slipped off the counter. He never said anything different.

The second time, he was 14. Sam and Dad were in the motel, polishing some guns. Dean said he was just going out back to shoot some cans. No one gave him a second glance.

He had gone outside and had pointed the gun to his head.

Instead of pressing it against his skin though, he stretched out his arms in front of him, and pulled the trigger.

Blood poured down his neck, and he started feeling dizzy. He collapsed on the ground, clutching at the necklace Sam had given him.

He woke up again in the hospital that night. His Dad looked like he was about to murder his own son – something Dean wouldn't have minded at that point. Apparently Dean had missed and the bullet had grazed the side of his head. The reason he had fainted was from blood loss. He had a big groove through the skin and some bone showed on the left side of his head. He told them the bullet must have ricocheted off a rock or something.

The third time was after a boy died on his watch.

Sam was in college by this time, Dean was around 25. His Dad and he were on a job in Michigan. Just a regular old ghost; but there was this boy, who was around 8 years old, that was being terrorized. Dean was in charge of watching him. However, the night before, he had gone out to the local joint and had gotten more drunk off his ass than he had in a long time. With the raging hangover the next day, he fell asleep on the couch.

When he woke up, the front door was open, and the boy was floating face down in the lake.

That night, after his dad was so pissed at Dean that he had actually beat his adult son, Dean went into the bathroom, taken a large bottle of cheap liquor and some headache pills and proceeded to poison himself.

This time, he didn't wake up for a whole week. Sam had even come all the way to Michigan to sit by Dean's bed. Dean awoke to find a hole in his throat, and many needles in his arms.

When Dean got Sam to look for their Dad, Dean made a vow to protect Sammy no matter what. Even if it meant him being killed.

And he had died.

Only to claw his way out of the ground with a painful new scar on his arm.


End file.
